I began my ministry in The United Methodist Church 20 years ago at a small to midsize church as a part time pastor and youth director. The next two years were a growing experience. I was learning on the job how to be a pastor. This church was formative in my ministry. I preached my first sermon there. I served my first communion there. I baptized my first child there. I presided over my first funeral there. They shaped me in ways that I am only beginning to understand now.
Now 20 years have passed.
That church that formed me is closing this year. They had their last service a few weeks ago. The building was deconsecrated. The furniture was removed. The altar is bare. At a place that I remember so full of life and laughter and joy is now eerily silent.
While I was meditating on this a hymn jumped into my head:
In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;
In our doubt there is believing; in our life, eternity,
In our death, a resurrection; at the last, a victory,
Unrevealed until it's season, something God alone can see.
There is always hope. Perhaps this great church that ministered to so many people will reopen and minister to countless more people. Perhaps it becomes a mission outpost reaching those who are hurting and in need. Perhaps it becomes a youth outreach and youth and kids fill the gym with laughter and joy and life again.
There is always hope. I choose to see this every day. Each and every day is a day of hope, because we are alive in Christ. Seasons can sometimes seem dire, but the promise is that God can see the next season.
I do not know what the next season of my ministry looks like. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely (1 Corinthians 13:12 NLT). I only know how to continue to pray, listen, and discern. So each day I simply rely on a daily prayer of trust and hope.
In preparing to surrender my credentials this year at Annual Conference, I went through a multitude of emotions from sadness to relief to fear to anger. However, as I get ready for the day I only have one emotion left.
Thanksgiving.
It has truly been a privilege to serve in The UMC for 20 years. I am thankful for my ordination on the floor of a convention center. I am thankful for the churches I have had an opportunity to serve. I am thankful for my friends and colleagues in ministry. I am thankful for the Bishops and cabinets I have served under. I am thankful for the laity that I have worked with. It is all grace and I am thankful for every minute of it.
As I surrender my credentials this year at Annual Conference, I adapted the prayer in our liturgy that was used to close the church that formed me.
Year after year I have prayed prayers and sung your praises,
I have asked your Spirit to bless countless worshipers.
I have celebrated the Lord's Supper
and been nurtured by it through the journey in faith.
I have rejoiced with believers confessing faith in Christ.
I have baptized children and mourned the dead.
I have celebrated families that have been created through marriage.
I have gone out to serve you in the world.
As I go now from the UMC into a further journey of faith,
I give you thanks, O God, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.